There are many intimate relationships between women where one partner is a lesbian and the other is bi. But do they work on the whole? Within every lesbian community, there is a certain stigma attached to bisexual women. The cliché goes that bisexual women are more likely to cheat and betray you and they will end up leaving you for a man.

Is this because they opt for the simplicity of hetero partnership or are romances between queer women destined to fail? (obviously not)

The majority of bi females who’ve dated both men and women will tell you that it’s very complicated. Boys and girls learn about the traditional divide from an early age – boys pursue and girls are pursued. This socialization has immediate implications for all same-sex partnerships, but it is an even bigger problem for those between lesbians and bisexuals. Some bi women feel men make them feel desired and wanted in a way that women rarely do. This has nothing to do with preferring men as partners. Women are much less likely to flirt or make moves towards other women.

Relationships with gay women can be more democratic than with men, especially with women who have known they were lesbian from an early age and women who haven’t dated many men – or any for that matter. While it’s a fact that lesbian women are exposed to the same messages about romance as all other groups, it may be that they don’t internalize them as intensely.

They don’t expect their partner to be forward and aggressive as a man would because their relationships have rarely or never included men. In consequence, lesbian women have created their own version of what romantic partnership should be like. In this situation, interactions feel unscripted and more spontaneous, and a bi woman can feel involved and invested to a much greater extent.